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THE CHRISTMAS STORY ACCORDING TO ST. HERETICUS

Once upon a time God lived at the North Pole …

WHY CAN’T WE BE HONEST AT FUNERAL SERMONS?

It is a fact that the truth about the dead cannot affect the dead, while lies about them can hurt the living.

LOST WORKS: RUSSELL BAKER: THE XI P.M. REPORT

The following short satire was authored by Russell Baker and appeared his Book of American Humor (© 1993, New York: W.W. Norton & Co.)

JOHN JASPERS: WHERE DOES SIN COME FROM?

The preaching of John Jasper is unique in the history of the Christian church. He lived the life of a slave forty years before the Civil War and the life of a free man for forty years after it. He was the last of the anti-bellum Negro preachers of the Old South.

A CRITIQUE OF EVERYTHING: SITUATION ETHICS

The fashionable thought in chic society is that man can change values as he changes his clothes.

A CRITIQUE OF EVERYTHING: EVOLUTIONARY PHILOSOPHY

Better to sneer at Christians than to argue with them, lest they convince you of the validity of their worldview.

A CRITIQUE OF EVERYTHING: TECHNOCRACY

Power and knowledge without values and wisdom is the surest road to despotism.

FREEDOM

The finest lesson that we may give to the young people of America is to teach them that the greatest freedom we enjoy is not freedom from want, it is the freedom to choose, it is the freedom to try, to compete, it is the freedom, yes, even to fail.

EFFORT AND SACRIFICE

The young man who thought the world owed him a living is the old man who is blaming the world for his failures.

DEVELOPING SUCCESS HABITS (REDUCED TO FOUR)

Long before Stephen Covey arrived on the scene there was Jesse Grover Bell …

THE MAKING OF A MAN

What is it that makes a man a real man?

WORK

There is little to be gained by working just enough to “get by,” to “meet the quota,” to “put in your time.” The worker who has the best chance of getting ahead is the one who comes early, leaves late, gives that little extra, enjoys what he is doing and performs his duties with a happy and contented mind.

PULL AND INFLUENCE

The important thing now is getting in, so start knocking on doors, tell anyone who’ll listen that you believe you have a future in the business, and you’ll take any kind of job, even sweeping floors, just to get in. Some place you’ll meet a man who’ll be willing to gamble on you—so don’t be discouraged by a lot of turndowns. A salesman sometimes knocks on two hundred and fifty doors before he makes a sale, and that’s what you are doing—selling you.

GOD VERSUS COMMUNISM

While we have slept in America, assuming that freedom inherited is freedom everlasting, our elected officials have removed the constitutional limitations of power that they swore to uphold.

OUR SPIRITUAL BLESSINGS

I say this for I know it is impossible to maintain freedom and order and justice without religious and moral sanctions. It is equally impossible for man to enjoy true dignity without a model that is more than human and a hope that is more than earthly. Man is made for eternity; he does not perish like the flies of the summer; therefore he enjoys dignity. Each of us is a person, made in the image of God. Therefore, each of us enjoys natural rights under God, rights we may exercise in building true values.